Teach a Blonde to Paint . . .

DH: What are you doing?
TS (brush in hand): I'm about to paint this door. It's been ugly for years, and it's messin' with my chi. Every time I go through it I think, "I have got to paint this door."
DH: Well, you can't just paint it like that.
TS: Why not?
DH: You haven't done your prep work. That paint's all chipped and the door's a mess, and if you paint it like that, your fresh paint will just chip right off, too.
TS: Oh, no . . . so how do I do prep work?
DH: You have to take off all the loose paint chips and then sand the door.
TS: Oh, my. So we're talking about a half-day project instead of a one-hour project. Do I get to use the power sander?
DH: That could be arranged.

Much later . . .

TS: How am I doing?
DH: You paint like a girl.
TS: I AM a girl.

Still later . . .

TS: I'm finished! What do you think?
DH: Couldn't have done it better myself.
TS: WOW! I've never heard you say that! I'm so happy--even if it isn't quite true.
DH: But it IS true.

Remember: Give a blonde some paint, and she paints for a day. Teach a blonde to paint . . .

The Blonde Leading the Blonde

It’s almost time for the annual beach trip with KayZee! We are really excited, and it looks as if we’re not having a hurricane. I have my laptop, my 95 SPF sunscreen, and my snacks, along with my trashy mystery/romance novel (we're downgrading from last year's Pulitzer-prize-winning tome).

Now all we have to worry about is getting there and getting back. Last year, I drove, and I appointed KayZee the Chief Navigator. Maybe we should both be Chiefs, since both of our dads were in the Navy. Anyway, last summer I had the Bond Girl going and KayZee had four or five helpful documents, including Mapquest directions and Google directions.

Well, the Bond Girl, as she is wont to do when she’s not in a major city, went a little berserk and started giving us wrong turns. We didn’t really get lost, but we had to turn around a couple of times before I realized that I shouldn’t be listening to the Bond Girl on this particular trip. (She’s very sharp in Atlanta and Birmingham, but rural areas are not her forté.) KayZee was very supportive, but I think we may have had too many helpful documents. The result was what DH calls “The Blonde Leading the Blonde.”

The other day, KayZee suggested, “I think we maybe should use a map.” So this year, KayZee is driving, and she has one map, so we are very optimistic about our chances for a successful road trip. Maybe we’ll take our journals so we can pen our thoughts about the beach and any wrong turns along the way.