What Women Need

At church last Sunday, DH and I heard the second of a three-part series called Cracking the Love Code. This series was designed to teach us how to love each other a little better, with a focus on marital relationships. Our teaching pastor, John Schmidt, teamed up with his wife Debbie, to offer a dual perspective on love. Her presence also made the sermon a lot more fun and entertaining, as you could clearly see that they were, yes, married. (Husbands and wives, you know what I'm talking about. Have the two of you ever tried to tell a story to friends, or elaborate on a point you wanted to make? Of course you have . . . )

One of the cool things we heard on the first Sunday was that each of us has a "love language," as described in Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages, and we need to find out how the other person's language works. The particular action, for example, that demonstrates to me that my husband loves me, may be totally different from whatever communicates love to someone else. For some wives, planning dates, giving gifts, or doing chores around the house may communicate love. DH cooks dinner for me, and I think I'm one of the luckiest women on the planet. Today he went to run an errand, and he brought me back some decadent ice cream. Not everything he does involves calories, but hey, I'm a grazer and I love to nibble.

Similarly, I think it means a lot to him when I attend classical concerts in which he's performing. Of course, in the same way he enjoys cooking, being involved with his music is not hard, because I'm a music lover. Nonetheless, I know he loves having me there.

The second installment of Cracking the Love Code specifically addressed what women need in a relationship. The message was very practical and covered about 15 items that guys need to be concerned with. The final point was really fun--they had the men stand up and say these eight words: "I'm sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me."

Well, this experience stirred up all kinds of fun debate at the office. DH was practicing the eight words with his assistants all week. They were all so interested in the topic that I copied the bulletin insert and took it to work. I spotted one of the tooth fairies copying it to take it home to her husband--wonder how that went over.

I figure a message that spurs this much discussion is definitely doing something right.

Next up: What Men Need.